Caring for the elderly: Will you be prepared?

Planning ahead

While there’s not much you can do to change the aging family member’s situation, you can make it less stressful by planning ahead. One of the advantages of planning in advance is that it helps you clarify your own thoughts on the end-of-life care that you would prefer. It also helps you understand the help that is available from government and healthcare organizations and the assistance that the family will be called upon to provide. Decisions and choices are far better made without the pressure of an immediate crisis and while the affected family members are in good health and can participate in the decision-making.

Getting started

Talking to your parents or other aging relatives about the caregiving they may need is never easy. Privacy needs to be respected, as does a person’s sense of pride and independence. According to Dr. Amy D’Aprix, Gerontologist and CEO of Best in Care, there is no good time to have this conversation, but the best time to have it is now. She offers several pointers on how to get the dialogue started. Dr. D’Aprix recommends that you keep the conversation casual rather than turning it into a planning meeting, asking a few questions at a time and revisiting issues over several discussions. If there are siblings, debriefing each other to share information is vital as parents often relate differently to each child. Sometimes parents may be worried about not being able to leave a legacy if care is expensive so you may need to reassure them if it isn’t necessary. And if you have no success in getting a conversation started, Dr. D’Aprix suggests describing for your aging relative the late-life care you think they would want and asking if you are on the right track.

Consult with the experts

Once you have a good sense of the type of care desired, you’ll want to investigate the options and evaluate the financial implications to your parents and to yourself. Each province in Canada handles eldercare differently. Resources, support and facilities vary greatly across the country and by rural or urban settings. Doing your research and understanding your options is far easier when you aren’t operating in crisis mode. You’ll have the time to visit facilities, compare costs and come up with a caregiving plan that works for everyone involved.

Financial planners will recommend that elderly relatives have their wills up to date and powers of attorney in place for personal property and personal care. They will also advise that you have contingency funds available if you expect to be called upon to assist your relatives financially.

Take care of yourself too

Participating in the care of an elderly family member can provide the impetus for getting your own affairs in order. Discuss with your partner and children (if they are old enough) any preferences. Share this information with your financial advisor, who can help you determine the financial costs. He or she may recommend long-term care insurance, which is designed to provide a monthly cash flow to pay for your care.

If you are called upon to care for your parents or other elderly relative, be sure to look after yourself. It’s easy to become overburdened and exhausted. You’ll want to put a backup plan in place and take advantage of the respite programs available in many communities to give yourself a much-needed break. Keep in mind that caring for an aging family member has an upside that is often overlooked – the majority of caregivers report that the experience has strengthened their relationship.

Caring for a family member can impact a family’s finances as well. When combined with the added stress and responsibility of caregiving, managing investment accounts, paying bills, and balancing the household chequebook can seem like impossible tasks. Contact a BMO investment professional to find out how we can help with the financial implications of caregiving.

*The World Health Organization’s Disability Adjusted Life Expectancy index indicates that three to five years of extended life expectancy will involve some form of disability.

This article is for information purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice. Please consult your own health care provider.